If you haven’t read Part 1 of this series, go back and check it out here. We talked about the silent but dangerous impact of gaps—those unnoticed tasks that can burn out team members if we don’t address them. Today, we’re moving on to the second team killer: The Grass is Greener Complex.
You know the phrase. “The grass is greener on the other side.” It’s often said with a sigh or a hint of envy—and it’s a mindset that will quietly poison your team if you’re not careful.
Comparison Kills Culture
Here’s how this usually shows up in real life: You start looking around and noticing what others are doing—or not doing. You compare your role, your responsibilities, your hours, your visibility, even your perceived value… and before long, you’re frustrated.
One of the most common places I see this is between production and worship teams in churches.
I’ve heard it more than a few times: “What do the worship folks even do all week? Why are they sitting around with guitars while I’m 30 feet up on a lift fixing a stage light for the third time today?” From the outside, it looks like one person is working harder than the other. But that assumption is built on a limited perspective. The truth? That worship leader is doing exactly what they’re supposed to do. Practicing. Creating. Thinking. Leading their team. Just because it doesn’t look like your work doesn’t mean it isn’t work.
The same thing happens with youth pastors: “They’re at Six Flags again?” Yes—and it’s part of their job. They’re building trust, forming relationships, and creating discipleship moments… even if it’s between roller coasters and churros.
Different Jobs, Different Rhythms
Here’s what we forget: not all jobs look the same, and that’s okay.
One of the fastest ways to kill unity on a team is to constantly compare your responsibilities, schedule, or workload with someone else’s. Especially when that someone is in a completely different role or department.
Even within similar roles, comparison is dangerous. Why? Because every person brings their own approach. Some people work fast and loud. Others are slow and methodical. Some love checklists. Others run on caffeine and instinct.
That’s where the battle between results and methodology comes in.
Results vs. Methodology
Let’s go back to our trusty trash can from Part 1.
There are multiple ways to take out the trash:
- Pull out the bag, tie it up, toss it, and put in a new liner.
- Carry the whole trash can to the dumpster, dump it, and leave it empty.
- Text someone else to do it (not recommended, but it is a method).
At the end of the day, if the trash is gone, the job got done.
But here’s where things get tricky: Some people only care that it’s done. Others care how it was done. Some organizations value results more: “As long as it’s complete, we’re good.” Others value methodology: “It matters how you do it—process is everything.”
Neither is wrong, but confusion happens when you start judging someone else’s work through your lens of what matters most. You may think they’re slacking, cutting corners, or doing it wrong—when in reality, they’re getting the same result, just with a different rhythm or approach.
How to Kill the Grass is Greener Complex
- Stop Comparing Across Lanes: Just because you don’t understand someone’s work doesn’t mean they’re not working. Respect different roles, even when they look easy from your perspective.
- Understand What Wins Look Like: Is your team focused on results, methodology, or both? Define it clearly so people aren’t guessing or judging.
- Trust Each Other’s Purpose: You weren’t hired to do their job—you were hired to do yours. Trust that each role brings value, even if the output looks different.
The truth is, the grass may look greener over there… but it’s probably just a different kind of grass. Different sunlight. Different soil. Different season.
Don’t waste your time looking over the fence. Water your grass. Do your job well. Celebrate others for doing their job. And that’s how you kill the comparison trap before it kills your team.
Stay tuned for Part 3.
If you want to learn more from Dennis Choy, check out his breakout from FILO 2024 – “FILO 2024 Breakout: How to Recruit Volunteers and Keep Them for Life.”
